African, african american, death, everything in between, life, mental health, musings, Uncategorized

Answering the question ; Is Life worth living?

I’ve been getting this message a lot lately “life is too short”

Image source: google
Roc Marciano

I read something a while back that shook me to my bone marrow.

To acquire and possess a human body is very difficult. Think about how many sperm cells were released the day you were conceived think of how many had to die so you could become. Think about your life up until this very minute. How you fought with sadness, anger, bitterness, hate , revenge etc.

These are all spirits fighting to possess your body.

The human body is a sacred vessel and if you possess this vessel there’s nothing that is impossible or beyond your reach once you’re connected to the source. This then, is why you see a lot of spiritual people battling mental illnesses, depression and anxiety. The evil ones do not attack empty vessels. They attack vessels unto honour and beauty,

Think of yourself as a ship loaded with jewels, fattened cows, milk honey,silk, pearls and exotic beads, fabrics from lands far across the sea and oil in its richness. When pirates find out that such vessels are at sea what do they do? Attack! That’s exactly what they do so don’t be upset or burdened when you’re being attacked mentally it means you’re full of goodies.

I was at school today ironing out the fabric I was about to sew ( this explains my absence thus far, I’ve been back to school to study fashion designing) when a thought flashed before my mind “what if you just end it all today” just as quickly as it came the greater He that is in me challenged the thought. I found myself remembering what I had heard. Why waste a precious vessel just because you found rat poop in it?

The devil is in the details
Details of a top made by @ theinyugo on instagram
Top by yours truly.

My life is too precious not just to me but to the one who created me so I’d be damned if I let the things of this world weigh me down. I’d be damned if I allowed the stupidity of man weigh down the joy the lord has placed in my heart. I’d be damned if I let anybody dim or even attempt to dim my light.

Now you, what are you gonna do?

Love,

Chidimma Akubue ❤️

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African, food, inspiration, Uncategorized

This smoothie will change your life.

“Pawpaw is a kind of fruit, Pawpaw is a kind of fruit

sweet like sugar, yellow like fanta

everybody likes Pawpaw

 Paw paw”

I’m a huge fan of papayas also known as pawpaws but I simply just hate it when they are sugary sweet y’know, so I figured out a way to reduce the sugary taste and still enjoy my papayas.

I present *drumroll* the lemony papaya mix

For this smoothie you’ll need :

  1. A medium/small size ripe pawpaw
  2. One medium size juicy lemon
  3. A blender or pulser

Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

How to prepare.

  1. Cut your papaya into cubes for easy blending
  2. Squeeze the juice out of your lemon
  3. Blend the pawpaw till it turns into a smooth paste
  4. Add your lemon juice and blend again to curate the flavours
  5. For extra refreshment especially since the weather has been so hot lately, freeze the papayas before blending.
chidimma akubue
You can actually just dice your pawpaw into cubes and dizzle lemon juice all over it.

There you have it guys. Now you can enjoy your overripe pawpaws without that extra sugary taste to it and what’s more, this mix actually tastes like mangoes so when mangoes go out of season in a few months, you can actually reminise with this deliciousness.

chidimma akubue
Better than Jollof rice. Yes! i said it

Let me know in the comment section, would you try this smoothie?

Love, Chidimma Akubue

African, diy, everything in between, food, musings, series, Uncategorized

How to Beat Loss of Appetite when you have Malaria.

Hi guys! first of all let me just tell those of you waiting to see the weight I have gained in the right places to stop waiting. I fell ill lastweek and have lost all the weight again!

From the title you could have guessed that it was malaria. If you live in Nigeria, chances are you’ve had malaria at least once in your life so some of these tips may not be new to you however for those that don’t know what malaria is , here you go:

Malaria is a protozoal disease associated with high grade fever and is often transmitted by female Anopheline mosquito bites. The mosquito transports the parasite from one infected human to another. These parasites then enter the blood stream and infect the red blood cells. The main symptoms of malaria are fever, chills, headache, nausea and vomiting.

How to Survive Malaria.

  • First things first when you suspect you have malaria, visit a lab and have a test done to be sure that you have malaria. I’m not sure if there are side effects to treating non existent malaria but you could ask a doctor first before taking malaria medication.
  • When you have confirmed that it is indeed malaria and your medication has been prescribed by the doctor, go to your trusted local pharmacy and buy the drugs.
  • As with all medication, improper treatment or misuse of malaria medication could lead to complications or render the drugs inffective so make sure to follow the instructions on how to use your malaria medication.
  • When you’re down with malaria, lack of appetite is a huge problem and malaria drugs require that you eat well before taking them so i’ll recommend a few things that worked for me while I was taking my medication.
    IMG_0167.jpg
    ripe plantain in goatmeat peppersoup.
  1. Plantain (ripe or unripe) in goatmeat pepper soup
  2. Malt and milk
  3. Fresh fruits like pawpaw and oranges but I suggest you take it easy on the oranges as vitamin c can inhibit malaria drugs.
  4. White rice and vegetable mix
    Snapseed.jpg
    white rice and vegetable mix
  5. Most importantly drink a lot of water.

That’s it guys. Please stay away from mosquitoes …malaria is not fun to have, treat or watch.

If you’d like the recipe for these dishes, leave a comment below and I’d be sure to answer you on that.

Love,

Chidimma Akubue, defeater of Malaria.

African, mental health, musings

Take your past off the pedestal.

The past is the set of all events that occurred before a given point in time. The past is contrasted with and defined by the present and the future. Wikipedia

It is a given that we will all and always have a past? This morning was in the past. The present is proof that there was a past.

The most important thing I believe life is about is growth. Take a grain of wheat for example. If you plant one in the soil, provided the nutrients it requires are not lacking, the only thing required of that wheat grain is to grow.

We as humans are similar to that wheat grain. Life has blessed us with infinite potentials and we limit ourselves by dwelling on our one achievement or our one mistake when instead we should be forging ahead and grabbing life by the lapels.

This is not to say don’t celebrate milestones or achievement rather this is to encourage and quicken your steps. When you hit the target your eyes have been on don’t just revel in it like it’s the last thing on your imaginary checklist. Elongate that checklist, do more. There’s always room to be more. The wheat grain grows its first leaf, then it unravels it signaling to the next leaf that it is time to come out to see the light. In a short while all the needed leaves have grown out of the soil and now the sheaves start to come in.

What part of your past have you placed on a pedestal? It’s about time you flung it off the pedestal or better still raise the bar and be more.

Love,

Chidimma Akubue ❤️

Uncategorized

Thrown under the bus

Every now and again, the enormous weight of my insignificance sits directly on my left shoulder.

Today served as a chaotic reminder. Here I was trying to cross the road. On my left shoulder was my bag containing a 10 pound laptop, a folder from fashion school, a huge bunch of keys and two smaller bunches, a power bank and 2 phones. In my right hand I was carrying a black nylon containing ripe plantain worth 500 Naira and two miserly pieces of fish that should have sold for 350 max but I bought at 500 because the seller was a visibly malnourished woman who had two sons and the youngest was clinging to her thigh and crying.

Every turn I took to be able to cross to the other side of the road to board a bus was met with one unruly bike rider asking if I wanted to get to mile two with a bike. They seemed to appear out of thin air and block every path my eyes had created to be able to cross. Just as I passed the hurdle of bikers and annoyingly inconsiderate road users on foot; who would just stop walking abruptly forcing you to change your direction without warning, it was time for the commercial buses and regular motorists. One thing they have in common is impatience and quite frankly common sense.

The first to create a scene that further delayed my crossing of the said road was a man who apparently is a soldier. Someone whose duty was to enforce the law was the first in line to break it. He had turned the road to a one way street. Commercial buses were blaring their horns as is the norm even when it is unnecessary. The soldier was blaring his , arguing with his eyes that he had a right of passage so the commercial bus in front needs to reverse so he could pass. Too late! Other inpatients like himself had followed closely behind him and the commercial bus driver. There was no way for either to go. Not for me though! Traffic jam means freedom to cross the road or so I thought.

I had only taken two steps when it happened. I didn’t realise that even if traffic was on stand still I still needed to look left, look right, look left again before crossing the road. The last thing I remember hearing was horns blaring which is not unusual the only unusual thing was opening my eyes and seeing what it looks like under a bus. I was literally thrown under the bus. People were screaming and I may have heard something like the clicking of cameras and someone saying “video am” reiterated by a couple other voices.

Thankfully none of the contents of my bag went flying in the air. Me, my plantain and fish and my handbag with all its contents were safe under the bus. By this time the traffic had compounded. More impatient drivers that couldn’t spare the Luxury of checking if this human being under the bus was okay were busy kissing their teeth and slamming their brakes and steering wheels.

I decided to prove them wrong, I wriggled out from under the bus dragging my plantain and fish along with me and seeing a group of people holding unto a bike rider by the neck I knew he was the one who hit me. Adjusting my bag on my left shoulder and my plantain and fish in my right hand I walked up to them. To the amazement of the passengers in the bus I was under and virtually everyone that saw the scene unfold. When I got to where he was, I dropped my nylon of plantain and fish between my legs on the road, asked the mob to give me a moment with the bike rider and to my surprise they did not hesitate. I slapped him twice across the face ,picked up my plantain and fish and hopped on another bike to my destination. Save for the inpatients behind the scene of the accident , “under-bridge” was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Now that I think about it, maybe I am not insignificant . Maybe the weight being specifically on my left shoulder was my handbag containing all those things. Maybe my life was spared because I still had a significant contribution to make to the world.

By Akubue Chidimma

Henriettaakubue@gmail.com

Uncategorized

Naked and not afraid

This is not fiction or faction. This is real life. The questions I’m about to ask you are real and would require your honesty.

When was the last time you cried because you were laughing?

When was the last time you laughed because you were crying?

This thing called vulnerability has been a very big issue for me. I remember in school I had all these friends and acquaintances that I tried to be vulnerable with. Some stayed quiet and just hugged me. Some said those irritating words “it is well” and some tried to talk me out of being that vulnerable but you know what no one did? No one was willing to open up to me as I did to them.

There are only a few things in this life of sin worse than that. Like spending your last card on food and the food isn’t even delicious. Or rushing to meet up with the last bust and just as soon as you arrive the bus zooms off without you and there’s still space for one.

You open up your self , your heart , your soul , despite being afraid of judgement or being mocked and laughed at. Despite the possibility of becoming the joke of the century , you tell this person the silliest thought you ever did have and you know it’s silly but you just needed them to be open just as you were and they just shut you down, off and out.

The ability to be vulnerable is a precious gift. The quality of honesty despite the worst case scenario is rare and commendable. The ability to break yourself in half and willingly give that half to a whole other person is courageous.

Find you someone who can share your deepest self with and they share the same with you.

everything in between, inspiration, life, mental health, musings, series, Uncategorized

All These Shoulder Pads and I still Couldn’t Lean on You.

I own a bunch of blazers, some with no padding at all in the shoulders and others heavily padded but not in a comical way. I was sitting down staring at my scanty wardrobe ironically filled with clothes I cannot wear everyday and a thought popped in my head and this post title was born.

Image from Pinterest

Image from Pinterest

This week is #mentalhealthweek and if you’re an avid reader you know I’m all about mental growth which is a huge part of mental health. If you’re new here , you’re very welcome. Grab a bite or a drink and go through the blog. There’s something in it for you and you can only find out by reading.

I don’t know why I chose this caption but it’s funny how everything always relates to something else even when they are obviously from different times and what not.

The shoulder pads are a metaphor for people and even ourselves. Let me explain with this story. When I was about 14 years old I remember being so excited about an event. I planned and prepared. The night before the event I fell ill. That’s an example of being a shoulder pad. When I least expected to be betrayed by my own body I was. Same applies to us as people. You as a person are not just a person unto yourself. You’re a sister, a daughter, a wife, a mother, a best friend a brother, an uncle, a father , a nephew and the list goes on and on. For you to be able to perform your duties to the best of your ability and in these various categories , you have to have it together mentally.

Prioritise your mental health above trivial things. Prioritise your inner peace. Prioritise yourself!

You’re a parent and all you think about is how to give the best to your children. You’re sad , upset and lashing out for no particular reason. HALT, check yourself. Have you taken out time for self care? That alone time you’ve been craving with your spouse or by yourself may just be what you need to get back in the right head space.

You’re a young adult, a teenager, a fresh graduate, a young mum, newly wed or about to wed. You log into any of your social media platforms and you see people your age going places you can only dream of, buying things your present bank account can not afford even if it is multiplied by 100 . Most people you started school with have graduated and are sharing their photos online. You’re two years behind schedule. You had a child before you were ready and now you can’t seem to get it together. Gradually you’re over sleeping or not sleeping at all, over eating or not eating at all, overworking or not working at all. HALT! Take time to breathe. consider that time and chance happens to everyone and social media is really about highligting ones highlights. These exotic photos do not directly translate to exotic lives. they are just photographs.

You’re in your 30s or 40s, no kids yet, no spouse , not even a prospective spouse. You’re feeling lonelier as the days go by. You feel like you might be retiring this existence forever alone. You barely even have it together financially. HALT! Pause take two steps back. You’ve come a long way to undermine everything you’ve been through up to this point. You matter and your dreams are still valid no matter what it looks like now. Take out a day or two. Treat yourself to your favourite things. Think back to the things that brought you joy before now.

You’re older now, your children have left home in search of their own. Your wife may have left, your husband too. you feel empty and incomplete. HALT! .You are not alone. you’re not your current situation. You’re not too old to play. Never too old to make friends, never too old to join new clubs and societies. You’re definitely not too old to seek companionship but in all these, prioritize your mental health.

An empty jar cannot fill an empty glass so fill yourself with love and care so that when you share with others you have enough to carry you through the tough days. We all have one. Show up for yourself so when others need someone to show up for them you will be able to. Do me a favour and imagine everyone you know or care about showing up for themselves, what a wonderful world it would be right?

If you need help seek help, ask for help and knock on the right doors to get the help you need. Know your triggers and avoid them.

#yourmentalhealthmatters.

Love, Chidimma Akubue ❤️

inspiration, life, musings, poetry, short story

To the One Who Seamlessly Laid my Nails on my Nail Bed.

I suffered a nasty nail injury when my artificial nail broke off while I still had it glued to my natural nail. My nail bed was bloodied, swollen and very sore. I couldn’t do much with the hand entirely and I was somewhat devastated.

image source: chatelaine, google.

This whole incident led me to ask myself certain questions. Why did I even want to fix nails when my nails were perfectly fine as they were? I was so angry and when I showed someone my injury they said “beauty is pain” this infuriated me even more. What kind of beauty was I trying to achieve that led to this much pain?

It’s been months and honestly my nails haven’t recovered. Why am I rambling about nails and my fingers? Don’t worry it leads to something profound I discovered.

You see everything has its advantage and its disadvantage. You never really know what you’ll get when you go against the natural order of things or the will of God the creator. My shabby nails are an example of that but this is an appreciation post so let me get right to it.

In appreciation of and:

To the one who laid my nails seamlessly on my nail bed

To the one who gave each strand of my hair its curl pattern

To the one who despite my misgivings and mismanagement has been my manager

To the one who I can can call and know is just that one call away

To my strength in adversity

To my help in weakness

To my ALL

To the Unknown God.

( I realize I haven’t been consistent and I’ve gotten messages encouraging me to write more. This is my assurance to you. I’m coming back better than ever before. Thank you for your patience with me. )

Love, Chidimma Akubue ❤️

African, everything in between, inspiration, life, musings, Uncategorized

Why do we struggle to love?

pexels-photo-264109.jpegWhere do I even begin? This past month has shown me truly that the heart of man is desperately wicked! I have three short stories to tell you.

Three things I experienced this month, three things that will break your heart if you have one.

Let’s start with the first one. I attended lector’s meeting as per usual the other day and I decided to walk home as opposed to taking a bike for #50. I was close to a newly opened pharmacy when I noticed two adult men clearly in their forties walking towards me and I towards them. We were coming from opposite directions. A rule of thumb when you find yourself in such a situation is for both parties to move left to create a path. Can you guess what one of these grown men said to me (the visibly bigger one that one would expect to have a level of intellect equal to his height and stature)?

He said “Madam shift” and gestured with his hand that I move to the oncoming traffic so he and his friend could pass. I paused looked at him and realised I even recognized his friend. I looked back to make sure I wasn’t in danger then I crossed to the other side. I wanted to there and then break down his callous behaviour and lecture him on common courtesy. This man is clearly twice my age, probably married with kids, possibly a daughter; but come on! besides his friend as I now know is a member of my church and is also a shop owner of some sort in the biggest supermarket in the estate. I went there today and I was tempted to go and tell him that I have judged him based on his friend’s action and I am not sorry *bites tongue*

I was still wondering how to come up with a piece on how that single incident is a reflection of the situation of women in Nigeria when the scam instagram page I tried to purchase a phone from blocked my number and refused to take my calls. That’s a story for another day.

Then one Sunday I decided to go to another parish for mass. I sat down next to a bunch of people and it was very baffling that after church we walked out together and under the scorching hot sun no one even offered to drop me even at the junction as they were clearly going my way. Come to think of it, maybe it’s because I wore sunglasses so they felt “this one doesn’t need the shade, she’s a big girl” or what do you think?

March was a beautiful month but these things little as they may be got to me.

How was the month of March for you? Hope you were able to MARCH into your blessings as you prophesied.

Happy Easter Guys! Remember the reason for the season.

Love, Chidimma Akubue.