2017: Taking Stock.

2017: Taking Stock.

Here I was, struggling. When I could have been living I was existing (barely).

This year had me like this at several points.

Growing up, my father, a businessman would sometimes ask me to take stock with him or I’d offer to help. He’d call out numbers and I’d press them into the calculator and call back to him. Sometimes he’ll ask “I di  kwa sure?” I’d say ” yes daddy, I’m sure” and show him the dim calculator screen. At the end of calling numbers back and forth and totalling he’d either say” this year I lost a lot of money” or “I made a lot of profit this year”.

It is very important to take stock especially of your life. It helps to see how aligned you are with your goals. I know a lot of people are against the ” new year new me” mantra but let’s be honest, don’t we all like new bedsheets? A fresh haircut? So why shouldn’t people aspire to a new self in the new year?

In taking stock of my 2017 here’s what I’ve gathered

I was struggling

Naïve

Stubborn about some wrong things.

Introduced to my ego.

Met narcissists ,was love bombed, devalued, abused, discarded and devalued again.

Disappointed my self and someone I care about.

Lost weight

Was fearful

But despite all the bad above,in 2017 I began and completed my NYSC successfully.

I was so sleepy that p.o.p morning

I saw a clearer picture of the world (everything is never as it seems).

I began to live and take up space like I’m supposed to.

Lost toxic weight and gained healthy weight.

Meeting my ego led to revisiting childhood traumas that shaped some of my insecurities.

Revisiting these traumas had me dealing with them.

My goals are clearer to me

Most importantly I met God and myself.

All in all, my attitude to my life got better in 2017 and despite the losses, boy did I gain and for this I am thankful. How did 2017 go for you? 

See you in 2018, living and doing your best yet.

Love, 

Chidimma Akubue ❤

Casually dropping this photo here cos although I  didn’t finish my makeup I still look peng.
Smiling now that I made it out of 2017 whole
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These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ – Nancy Sinatra.

These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ – Nancy Sinatra.

Hello esteemed readers, welcome back!

We are going Pop culture today and a little deeper on the blog are you ready?

Nancy Sinatra is an American singer and actress. She is the elder daughter of Frank Sinatra and Nancy Sinatra and is widely known for her 1966 signature hit “These Boots are Made for Walkin’ – Wikipedia

So it has been a little over half a century since this song was first released and I believe it is still relevant today and trust me to always try to find beauty and meaning in everything.

For me this song means to never give up on yourself. *awkward silence*

Chidimmaaaaaa!! There you go again! Where did you get this one from? How?

OK, hear me out now will ya? 

If you Google the meaning of the song, I’m aware what pops up points to her divorce and what not but you see, that’s the beauty of art. There are so many beautiful meanings to be derived. 

As much as I see ” Never Give Up on Yourself” I also see “Walk Away From Anything Not Meant For You” or essentially anything that drains you. 

I’m aware that in some cases you have to run   sometimes cycle, sometimes drive but whatever you do honey whatever , KEEP WALKING.

If like me you have just realised this , listen to the song and start walking. Here’s the link to the song : https://youtu.be/2q6x2v7qG-w

So one thing is for sure. Whether your boots be dainty

Image source: Google

 or your boots be sturdy, you gotta keep walkin’

Image source: google “sturdy boots”

Are you ready boots? Start walkin’

Love, 

Chidimma Akubue ❤

What Are You Willing To Do?

What Are You Willing To Do?

Hey guys, welcome back to my blog, I appreciate you coming back to read my thoughts. Today I’m asking you and myself, what are you willing to do to be your authentic self ? 

Studies have it that the most common regret people have on their deathbeds is the regret of letting fear rule their life and stopping them from doing what they really wanted to do. I don’t want to live my life afraid of what’s on the other side of the door of fear, I don’t want to constantly over think things anymore I want to just do as long as I’m not hurting myself or anyone in the process.

After series of books, motivational videos and generally anything that will help on my self discovery journey, I’m finally ready to be rid of my insecurities, bearing  in mind that having insecurities is different from being insecure and all humans have insecurities.

That being said, Hi, my name is Chidimma and I am a recovering people pleaser. Yeah you read that right. 

Learning to live on your own terms can be very hard but you also need to realise that you cannot be a people pleaser and be your authentic self at the same time. Those are parralel lines of life. One of my least favourite things to do (besides laundry of course) is introspection yet I am always looking inwards, always trying to find out where I’ve gone wrong or missed a step. It’s a very daunting and painful excersise but it is necessary and worth it especially if you want to grow as a person. 

Only recently did I come out of denial as to why I’ve been depressed for a while now (thanks introspection). Sometime we may find ourselves in compromising situations that we don’t even remember how we got there. We are stuck, afraid and terrified that our behinds will be exposed and the world will see us for the phony that we are so we choose to hide behind people pleasing. 

We must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please. 

Lysa Terkeust


I agree that people pleasing is a disease and I believe it stems from a lack of confidence in yourself that may present itself as fear ofrejection or abandonment. You need to give yourself permission to just be and you can only do this with the help of something bigger than yourself. In my case that is God. 

If you don’t want to share space with certain people, DON’T!

Don’t open the door for people to drain you. If you notice that being in certain places , with certain people at certain times drains you then don’t share space with them. Do what you need to protect yourself and protecting yourself certainly includes not being a people pleaser. 

Rest assured and be prepared, for when you choose to stop people pleasing, people will certainly not be pleased.

So what are you willing to do to be your authentic self?

Love, 

Chidimma Akubue ❤

Do You Like What You See?

Do You Like What You See?

Often times in relationships we allow the kind of people that are attracted to us or approach us define our self worth.

One time I was approached be this guy who definitely seemed like a weirdo to everyone that knew him including me and when he approached me talking about how he likes me and wants a romantic relationship with me my self esteem sunk and I mean like bottomless pit sinking. I thought to myself how could someone like him feel bold enough to approach me and not just approach but have the guts to mention wanting a romantic relationship with me. Do I act like I’m crazy? Do I look crazy? Do I dress crazy? I must be crazy…

The absolute worst thing you can do when you get approached like this is allow your confidence to be diluted. Don’t do that. Just because he’s crazy, not physically attractive enough for you, not smart enough for you doesn’t mean you’re all these things too. I mean just because he is a weirdo doesn’t mean he doesn’t have good taste in women and same goes for the guys right?

Serving straight face and feeling 22.

Don’t let your self esteem wane or drop and lose confidence in yourself because this unattractive, seemingly crazy person is interested in you. It just means they have good taste LOL! . Just be sure to let them know that you’re not the one for them. Tell them to look elsewhere politely.
Love, 

Chidimma Akubue ❤ 

Edit

On turning 22

“We’re happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time…” 

What’s a 22nd birthday without reference to Taylor Swift’s 22? 

The date is November the 2nd. You can send your sweet messages across to all my social media platforms. @chimdimma__ on Instagram, @chidimma_akubue on twitter, Henrietta Akubue on Facebook 

That being said , let me drop some things I’ve learned this past year

  1. Everything works together for my good.
  2. Love come in various forms accept them.
  3. Be patient with yourself and give no room for self pity.
  4. The battle is not to the strong nor the race to the swift but time and chance happeneth to them all.
  5. Trust the process and follow your heart.
  6. God loves me no matter how many times I fail or fall.
  7. My mental health is important.
  8. Keeping the image is important.
  9. It’s not how fast but how well.
  10. As much as I like to be by myself, I am not an island, I need people too and I am needed. There are also friends for a season and friends for a lifetime, discernment is key.
  11. It’s okay to be vulnerable.
  12. It’s okay to show emotions, feel emotions and be emotional.
  13. Difficult conversations with yourself and people are essential for growth.
  14. My sensitivity is a gift.
  15. Taking time off for myself is not a bad thing.
  16. Work hard.
  17. Be honest with myself about my shortcomings and take immediate action.
  18. Letting go shouldn’t be difficult because change is constant.
  19. Letting go let’s you grow.
  20. Sometimes dance in front of a mirror , laugh at yourself and go on about your business, that’s okay too.
  21. Shave your head you’ll feel lighter and letting go will be easier.
  22. Pray and eat girl! All this goodness and sweetness you carry cannot manifest if you don’t feed your body and soul.

Can you relate to any? Let me know in the comment section…

Love, 

Chidimma Akubue ❤


Laid to Rest ; a pictorial 

Laid to Rest ; a pictorial 
Rest peacefully Grandma
Morning selfies
Fruits were in abundance
I take pictures of myself too
I take pictures of myself too
I take pictures of myself too

Edit

Dancing to the high table
Mrs Rotimi
My favourite picture and outfit because it was made by me.
Cultural Dancers.
3 men dressed in colourful outfits
Thanksgiving service
Outfit design by yours truly. Tailored by Chesvec Designs
Outfit design by yours truly

Thank you for viewing.

Love, 

Chidimma Akubue ❤

A New Leaf

The year isn’t over yet but so far how much of your new years resolution have you checked off the list? For me truth be told I didn’t make any resolutions not even half a resolution.

I remember in secondary school I tried so much to live a regimented life; wake up at so and so time and generally just follow a routine but it never really worked. I just knew it wasn’t for me but this post isn’t about my failure to keep a to do list it’s something related.

Setting Boundaries 

Sometimes setting boundaries sounds like ” be rigid ” but it really isn’t that and I’ve come to realise this. Setting boundaries means being able to balance rigidity with flexibility. 

No matter the nature of the relationship boundaries need to be set. The other person needs to know that there are things you would not tolerate and you should be rigid enough to let them know and flexible enough to use kind words.

I’ve had to learn this by force and the hard way and I’m still learning…

I hope you’re having a great weekend. Please let me know in the comment section if setting boundaries comes easy to you and if you have tips on how to go about it …
Love, 

Chidimma Akubue ❤