everything in between, life, musings

What Are You Willing To Do?

Chidimma Henrietha Akubue

Hey guys, welcome back to my blog, I appreciate you coming back to read my thoughts. Today I’m asking you and myself, what are you willing to do to be your authentic self ? 

Studies have it that the most common regret people have on their deathbeds is the regret of letting fear rule their life and stopping them from doing what they really wanted to do. I don’t want to live my life afraid of what’s on the other side of the door of fear, I don’t want to constantly over think things anymore I want to just do as long as I’m not hurting myself or anyone in the process.

After series of books, motivational videos and generally anything that will help on my self discovery journey, I’m finally ready to be rid of my insecurities, bearing  in mind that having insecurities is different from being insecure and all humans have insecurities.

That being said, Hi, my name is Chidimma and I am a recovering people pleaser. Yeah you read that right. 

Learning to live on your own terms can be very hard but you also need to realise that you cannot be a people pleaser and be your authentic self at the same time. Those are parralel lines of life. One of my least favourite things to do (besides laundry of course) is introspection yet I am always looking inwards, always trying to find out where I’ve gone wrong or missed a step. It’s a very daunting and painful excersise but it is necessary and worth it especially if you want to grow as a person. 

Only recently did I come out of denial as to why I’ve been depressed for a while now (thanks introspection). Sometime we may find ourselves in compromising situations that we don’t even remember how we got there. We are stuck, afraid and terrified that our behinds will be exposed and the world will see us for the phony that we are so we choose to hide behind people pleasing. 

We must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please. 

Lysa Terkeust


I agree that people pleasing is a disease and I believe it stems from a lack of confidence in yourself that may present itself as fear ofrejection or abandonment. You need to give yourself permission to just be and you can only do this with the help of something bigger than yourself. In my case that is God. 

If you don’t want to share space with certain people, DON’T!

Don’t open the door for people to drain you. If you notice that being in certain places , with certain people at certain times drains you then don’t share space with them. Do what you need to protect yourself and protecting yourself certainly includes not being a people pleaser. 

Rest assured and be prepared, for when you choose to stop people pleasing, people will certainly not be pleased.

So what are you willing to do to be your authentic self?

Love, 

Chidimma Akubue ❤

Published by Chidimma Henrietha Akubue

Babcock University Alumna. Chidimma Akubue Twenty something. Lover of art and artistic expressions . Enjoys writing poetry and formulating skincare products. I created my own skincare line @hankaligroup on all social media platforms. One of my favourite quotes: "Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red. - Kait Rokwski". Offering me plantain chips is a good way to say hello to me.

12 thoughts on “What Are You Willing To Do?”

  3. Chidinma why are you always in my head? It’s like my exact thoughts just came out through you. I’m the most pathetic people pleaser, or no- recovering people pleaser ( thanks Chidinma) This coming year ehn God help me cos i wont be giving two fucks about what people think about me. I am learning how to put myself first before anyone. That’s a great thing. That way no one can get you intimidated

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  4. The thing about pleasing people is that no matter how hard you try to, they’ll not be pleased or impressed or even respect you for who you are… many will like u no matter what, and no matter what, many will hate. I learnt the hard way… thanks for this words/reminder,,, it’s timely…

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  5. I stay conscious of who I surround myself. We all tend to be people pleasers at one point in our lives and the good side is realizing that it needs to change.

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  6. Our differences brings out our authenticity. It’s our trademark to be unique from the billions of other humans. Whayever it is that makes us different from the next guy puts us ahead of them; and until we can embrace and celebrate ourselves for who we are, we are bound to be limited by the confines of these same people we seek to please! Great Read! Keep that flag flying girl.

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  7. What am I willing to do to be my authentic self?
    Read, be introspective and think and work on discovering deeper insights. That may seem like a short answer but it has weight to it.

    Another serious question immediately comes to mind: for all of the people who are concerned about being “Authentic” or being “real”……why do we have to “Become” more authentic? It’s as if we are assuming that, by default, we are not. And that we need need to get back to it. How did that happen to begin with? Food for thought.

    #Authentic #Authenticity, #Genuineness, #KeepingItReal #Integrity, #Sincerity #PersonalGrowth #Psychology #mbti #Personality #PeoplePleasers

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    1. It does have weight to it.
      I saw a quote somewhere , let me rephrase it. ” we don’t know how valuable we are because we see yourself everyday ” we become complacent and don’t even give ourselves the respect we deserve. Thanks for sharing your bit.

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