I wish I had my life back.

I can bet top dollar that I’m not the only one wishing on a star or peeing in a fountain and wishing for my life back.

Scene from the movie ”The change up”

Life has taken a new and unexplainable or unexpected turn for majority of the world. As it stands a percentage of the world is in danger of starvation , the other in danger or contacting and dying from a novel virus and yet another percentage is losing their land to locusts.

It’s almost like the Egyptian plague the Bible speaks of.

Times are scary , I’d be the first to admit that. Every financial professional is steady claiming doom is underway for the world economy and nothing can save youuuuu. I don’t want to believe that but what do I know?

Call me selfish, call me crazy but I just want my life back. What did I do with it when I had it you ask? Well I didn’t live it okay! No need to judge me so harshly.

I spent a great part of my 2020 so far buried in work, every opportunity to hang out with friends, every opportunity to go on dates, every opportunity to just not be home and in my bed turning and tossing I turned down. Now there’s a global pandemic that has every thoughtful nation locking down the system to ensure that the virus does not ravage the nation.

Many would call my country a failed state, heck I might even join in but at least she is making an effort

I just want to be able to make soap because I want to not because I have to , I want to be able to sit my behind at home by choice not by force, I want to be able to go to the movies and just enjoy a movie alone like I used to, I want to be able to hug my friends again, to see them and to tell them I love them to their faces. I want to get dressed and hop on a bus and be on my way to work. I miss my chair in the office, I miss laughing in real life with my colleagues. I miss waiting for the bus . I miss exchanging heated glances with the conductor who just won’t give me my change . I miss going to the ice-cream store. I wish I could go back in time and enjoy these fleeting moments a little more.

I wish I had my life back!

How I’ve felt the past 5 weeks

Do you wish the same? Let me know below in the comments.

Remember to love and protect yourself especially now.

Love always,

Chidimma Akubue❤️

How do I reconcile my faith with my interest in astrology ?

Hello !

I’m so excited that you could join me today after a very long sabbatical from writing.

Life takes unexpected turns and you just have to go along but with strong feet of course!

This is not a welcome back post, more like a welcome back question.

You’ll know about the welcome back post sooner than you expect! I’ll be updating you guys on everything I’ve been up to

I truly appreciate your patience with me ! Gosh darn , you guys are amazing, 123 people came back to check on me since my last post -that’s lot and I appreciate it ❤️

Here goes the question:

I was born into a Roman Catholic family and I grew up in the same faith. Having attended schools and having general exposure to the world and internet, I find that I’m very much interested in knowing about everything under the sun, especially astrology.

My faith warns about getting involved in astrology or “consulting the stars” and I’m not going to lie I already did a little digging before I knew I wasn’t supposed to.

Now that I know I’m not permitted to by my faith how do I reconcile the two because I’m heavily invested in knowledge acquisition and astrology is so darn interesting! (True or not)

Ps I’m a Scorpio according to my findings.

Help a sister!

Love, Chidimma Akubue ❤️

How to be good at being BAAAD.

To be good at being bad, you have to first and foremost be bad.

A quick one on one of our customers at the mega city fair 4.0

Now I don’t know about you but where I came from, if someone tells you “you’re a bad guy ” it means you’re definitely onto something good, something big.

The popular way of saying it now is “osheeyy baddest”

In this day and age, one has to be bad at what they do to succeed. You have to be a baaad make up artist, a baaad blogger, a bad blogger. Basically being a bad guy anything is almost instant proof that success is right around the corner.

Here are a few tips and tricks on being a bad guy at whatever you want to be baaad at.

1. Do not ever compare yourself to someone in your field: it’s pretty easy to start comparing yourself to others in your niche or whatever but let me tell you the truth now. If you do that you’ll only limit yourself to whatever standards they set rather than creating your own. If you want to be a bad guy, don’t compare PERIODT!
2. Focus your energy: everything in our world is energy. Have you noticed if you think about something for too long it starts to manifest itself in random places? I was thinking about getting a studio light box the other day, I promise I didn’t use google to search for it and after two days I had forgotten about it an ad was marketed to me on Instagram about the exact one I had pictured in my thoughts. That goes without saying that focusing on that thing you want to be a bad guy at will definitely bring it to manifestation. It is also known as law of attraction right?
3. Write it down: I find that writing down your plans or goals acts as a seal and stamp of approval one of course seriousness. If you’re tired of being a basic chick or guy then write it down. It can be written as simple as “by 2019 I want to be the best and the baddest guy at laboratory science related stuff”
4. Be specific: don’t just write it down so vaguely. Choose a month , a year a day that you want it to happen for you. There’s no law that says it will happen on that exact date but believe if you may that it would happen.

Now that you have the tools, are you gonna be bad or what?

Let me know in the comments.

Love always,

Chidimma ❤️

Bitter Sweet Ginger Ale

Look at me.

So gorgeous, so lusciuos so delicious.

But can you believe that I’m not all sweet neither am I all bitter.

That’s the truth about our lives. No one is inherently bad and no one is inherently good. We are all a bunch of contradictions. We judge people for liking sex on the beach but we like to get it on best in the back seat of a car. Are these things bad? dont ask me I havent eaten yet and my brain gets fuzzy when I’m hungry.

We cant stand people who dont speak fluent English but we cannot even speak their native language even if our life depended on it.

Just like a rose with its many thorns is still beautiful, so am I. So are you.

Lets all learn to not see each other as simply good people or bad people. We should rather see ourselves as people. People who are capable of good and bad, truth and lies, being faithful and cheating, loving and hating, fighting and uniting. People who are capable of hurting others and loving others, hurting ourselves and loving ourselves.

Lets see each other, even one another, our friends our parents our siblings and everyone in our path as people who also deserve the benefit of the doubt that we so generously give ourselves when we have done those things we would rather not speak about to anyone else,

I hope we can learn to do that.

Here’s also a picture of my face as promised in my previous post

namaste.

Chidimma ❤️

I’m tired of saying I’m sorry.

Hi guys!

Just as my title suggests I really am tired of apologizing to you about my inconsistency this year. So this is me making a promise not just to you but to myself to be consistent and courageous.

Reminding myself that no matter how silly and passive aggressive I might sound in my posts there’s someone out there like me who needs to read something to lift them up and make them feel much more understood. Here’s to more content and pictures of me( only if you’re interested in seeing my face though) just kidding if you don’t want to see my face that’s not my problem because this coming year, it will be my face plastered all over this blog .

Enjoy a beautiful weekend ahead of you. And remember Love always wins.

Love,

Chidimma as always ❤️

Answering the question ; Is Life worth living?

I’ve been getting this message a lot lately “life is too short”

Roc Marciano

I read something a while back that shook me to my bone marrow.

To acquire and possess a human body is very difficult. Think about how many sperm cells were released the day you were conceived think of how many had to die so you could become. Think about your life up until this very minute. How you fought with sadness, anger, bitterness, hate , revenge etc.

These are all spirits fighting to possess your body.

The human body is a sacred vessel and if you possess this vessel there’s nothing that is impossible or beyond your reach once you’re connected to the source. This then, is why you see a lot of spiritual people battling mental illnesses, depression and anxiety. The evil ones do not attack empty vessels. They attack vessels unto honour and beauty,

Think of yourself as a ship loaded with jewels, fattened cows, milk honey,silk, pearls and exotic beads, fabrics from lands far across the sea and oil in its richness. When pirates find out that such vessels are at sea what do they do? Attack! That’s exactly what they do so don’t be upset or burdened when you’re being attacked mentally it means you’re full of goodies.

I was at school today ironing out the fabric I was about to sew ( this explains my absence thus far, I’ve been back to school to study fashion designing) when a thought flashed before my mind “what if you just end it all today” just as quickly as it came the greater He that is in me challenged the thought. I found myself remembering what I had heard. Why waste a precious vessel just because you found rat poop in it?

Details of a top made by @ theinyugo on instagram

Top by yours truly.

My life is too precious not just to me but to the one who created me so I’d be damned if I let the things of this world weigh me down. I’d be damned if I allowed the stupidity of man weigh down the joy the lord has placed in my heart. I’d be damned if I let anybody dim or even attempt to dim my light.

Now you, what are you gonna do?

Love,

Chidimma Akubue ❤️

All These Shoulder Pads and I still Couldn’t Lean on You.

I own a bunch of blazers, some with no padding at all in the shoulders and others heavily padded but not in a comical way. I was sitting down staring at my scanty wardrobe ironically filled with clothes I cannot wear everyday and a thought popped in my head and this post title was born.

Image from Pinterest

This week is #mentalhealthweek and if you’re an avid reader you know I’m all about mental growth which is a huge part of mental health. If you’re new here , you’re very welcome. Grab a bite or a drink and go through the blog. There’s something in it for you and you can only find out by reading.

I don’t know why I chose this caption but it’s funny how everything always relates to something else even when they are obviously from different times and what not.

The shoulder pads are a metaphor for people and even ourselves. Let me explain with this story. When I was about 14 years old I remember being so excited about an event. I planned and prepared. The night before the event I fell ill. That’s an example of being a shoulder pad. When I least expected to be betrayed by my own body I was. Same applies to us as people. You as a person are not just a person unto yourself. You’re a sister, a daughter, a wife, a mother, a best friend a brother, an uncle, a father , a nephew and the list goes on and on. For you to be able to perform your duties to the best of your ability and in these various categories , you have to have it together mentally.

Prioritise your mental health above trivial things. Prioritise your inner peace. Prioritise yourself!

You’re a parent and all you think about is how to give the best to your children. You’re sad , upset and lashing out for no particular reason. HALT, check yourself. Have you taken out time for self care? That alone time you’ve been craving with your spouse or by yourself may just be what you need to get back in the right head space.

You’re a young adult, a teenager, a fresh graduate, a young mum, newly wed or about to wed. You log into any of your social media platforms and you see people your age going places you can only dream of, buying things your present bank account can not afford even if it is multiplied by 100 . Most people you started school with have graduated and are sharing their photos online. You’re two years behind schedule. You had a child before you were ready and now you can’t seem to get it together. Gradually you’re over sleeping or not sleeping at all, over eating or not eating at all, overworking or not working at all. HALT! Take time to breathe. consider that time and chance happens to everyone and social media is really about highligting ones highlights. These exotic photos do not directly translate to exotic lives. they are just photographs.

You’re in your 30s or 40s, no kids yet, no spouse , not even a prospective spouse. You’re feeling lonelier as the days go by. You feel like you might be retiring this existence forever alone. You barely even have it together financially. HALT! Pause take two steps back. You’ve come a long way to undermine everything you’ve been through up to this point. You matter and your dreams are still valid no matter what it looks like now. Take out a day or two. Treat yourself to your favourite things. Think back to the things that brought you joy before now.

You’re older now, your children have left home in search of their own. Your wife may have left, your husband too. you feel empty and incomplete. HALT! .You are not alone. you’re not your current situation. You’re not too old to play. Never too old to make friends, never too old to join new clubs and societies. You’re definitely not too old to seek companionship but in all these, prioritize your mental health.

An empty jar cannot fill an empty glass so fill yourself with love and care so that when you share with others you have enough to carry you through the tough days. We all have one. Show up for yourself so when others need someone to show up for them you will be able to. Do me a favour and imagine everyone you know or care about showing up for themselves, what a wonderful world it would be right?

If you need help seek help, ask for help and knock on the right doors to get the help you need. Know your triggers and avoid them.

#yourmentalhealthmatters.

Love, Chidimma Akubue ❤️

Trauma: the gift that keeps on giving

I came up with this title based on personal experience and then I launched my research and discovered there were prior articles on this immense tansformation one undergoes after a traumatic experience.

I saw this post on instagram and it reminded me of how I’ve been seeing a former partner recently almost every turn I take. It’s funny how when you grow past something or you’ve levelled up, those things come back to kind of test you if your healing was performative or intentional. I’m glad to announce it was intentional although at first I tried to force it by performing instead of just allowing the healing to take place.

Looking back at the time in question or the person in question I can categorically say that my self esteem was at its unhealthiest level ever. That’s the beauty of leveling up though; it teaches you to be more compassionate when you see people who manifest parts of your former self, a ‘you’ from the past that you have now outgrown.

What then is the transformative power of trauma? It’s the growth you experience after picking and dusting yourself up after a traumatic event. Time and chance happens to us all and this unfortunately implies that not everyone experiences this positive and beautiful transformation trauma has the tendency to bring and those who experience this do so at varying degrees.

Take for instance the book of Job; he lost everything including his loved ones. That’s enough to have made him take himself out or spare his life by denouncing God as he was tempted to but he didn’t. The series of unfortunate events that happened in his life strengthened his resolve and faith. Imagine if his faith was shaky before the trial now picture him after all had been restored to him. We both know you can’t tell Job nothing about God after all he had experienced.

While trauma makes some people better, in others it brings out parts of themselves that they have hidden from everyone else sometimes they don’t even realize these parts of themselves exist.

This smoothie will change your life.

“Pawpaw is a kind of fruit, Pawpaw is a kind of fruit

sweet like sugar, yellow like fanta

everybody likes Pawpaw

 Paw paw”

I’m a huge fan of papayas also known as pawpaws but I simply just hate it when they are sugary sweet y’know, so I figured out a way to reduce the sugary taste and still enjoy my papayas.

I present *drumroll* the lemony papaya mix

For this smoothie you’ll need :

1. A medium/small size ripe pawpaw
2. One medium size juicy lemon
3. A blender or pulser

How to prepare.

1. Cut your papaya into cubes for easy blending
2. Squeeze the juice out of your lemon
3. Blend the pawpaw till it turns into a smooth paste
4. Add your lemon juice and blend again to curate the flavours
5. For extra refreshment especially since the weather has been so hot lately, freeze the papayas before blending.

You can actually just dice your pawpaw into cubes and dizzle lemon juice all over it.

There you have it guys. Now you can enjoy your overripe pawpaws without that extra sugary taste to it and what’s more, this mix actually tastes like mangoes so when mangoes go out of season in a few months, you can actually reminise with this deliciousness.

Better than Jollof rice. Yes! i said it

Let me know in the comment section, would you try this smoothie?

Love, Chidimma Akubue

These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ – Nancy Sinatra.

Hello esteemed readers, welcome back!

We are going Pop culture today and a little deeper on the blog are you ready?

Nancy Sinatra is an American singer and actress. She is the elder daughter of Frank Sinatra and Nancy Sinatra and is widely known for her 1966 signature hit “These Boots are Made for Walkin’ – Wikipedia

So it has been a little over half a century since this song was first released and I believe it is still relevant today and trust me to always try to find beauty and meaning in everything.

For me this song means to never give up on yourself. *awkward silence*

Chidimmaaaaaa!! There you go again! Where did you get this one from? How?

OK, hear me out now will ya? 

If you Google the meaning of the song, I’m aware what pops up points to her divorce and what not but you see, that’s the beauty of art. There are so many beautiful meanings to be derived. 

As much as I see ” Never Give Up on Yourself” I also see “Walk Away From Anything Not Meant For You” or essentially anything that drains you. 

I’m aware that in some cases you have to run   sometimes cycle, sometimes drive but whatever you do honey whatever , KEEP WALKING.

If like me you have just realised this , listen to the song and start walking. Here’s the link to the song : https://youtu.be/2q6x2v7qG-w

So one thing is for sure. Whether your boots be dainty

Image source: Google

 or your boots be sturdy, you gotta keep walkin’

Image source: google “sturdy boots”

Are you ready boots? Start walkin’

Love, 

Chidimma Akubue ❤